I am With Silly: The Bloody, Cutting edge Of Savvy Purchasing
Right here at I’m With Stupid, we’ve long adhered to a principle that might sound counterintuitive to most of you, and that is that this: men are better buyers than ladies. We know many of you, especially those of the feminine persuasion, probably assume we’re as silly as our title suggests for making such a claim, but we expect we will show it.
For example you took two folks — one a heterosexual man, the opposite a lady — to target and requested them each to go purchase a shirt. What do you think would happen?
The man could be again minutes later with a shirt. It probably wouldn’t look good and might not fit, but, being a man, he probably wouldn’t care. The woman, by contrast, would animal shirt emerge 4 hours later with three shirts, a matching skirt, a pair of pants, two picture frames, varied hair-care merchandise, a copy of people journal and a leather-based-sure basket to hold the dozens of catalogs she will get on daily basis within the mail since she’s so into purchasing.
So who’s the higher shopper? Clearly, it is the one who completed the task as directed. Thus, males are higher customers than women. Q.E.D.
Anyway, I am bringing all this up as background for the story I’m about to tell as a result of, despite the fact that I abhor shopping, I truly consider myself pretty savvy at it. This is very true at my local supermarket, where I scour the aisles in search of issues that are marked down for these in possession of a worth card.
Sure, this has led to some questionable merchandise sitting untouched in my pantry for years on end, but they had been greater than half off. I couldn’t afford not to purchase them. And who is aware of? Some day I’d need a jar of pimentos. When that day comes I will be prepared.
But back to the story, which entails me searching for razors. Anyone who has ever purchased a razor is little question aware that the only factor on the planet dearer is toner ink. Given that and my overwhelming want to save a buck, I used to be intrigued just lately once i noticed that 12-packs of Schick Slim Twin disposable razors (normally $7.39) had been being supplied “buy one, get one free.”
Higher but, among the packages also got here with $5 in free mp3 downloads from Rhapsody.com. I love music, notably free music, so I made the purchase, and for $7.39 I acquired 24 razors and $10 value of music, which I used to download a double album by the English funk band Speedometer. (Trust me, they’re awesome.)
So proud was I of my little coup that, nonetheless unshaven, I went back to the store the next day and purchased 24 extra razors, using the $10 in free music this time to obtain an album by the Brooklyn-primarily based afrobeat band Antibalas. (Additionally superior.)
So, to that time, I’d spent about $15, and I might gotten forty eight razors and $20 worth of free music. That, my buddies, is the way you shop. Later that day, nevertheless, I made the error of actually using one of the razors. In need of slitting my very own throat, I don’t assume I might have made my neck bleed more. Suffice to say there’s a motive the razors have been so cheap, and here I was with drawers filled with them.
Mildly discouraged now, I known as Schick to see in the event that they supplied a money-back satisfaction assure. They didn’t, but the nice customer support lady took pity on me and agreed to send me two coupons (worth as much as $eleven.Ninety nine every) good for the purchase of Schick’s high-of-the-line razor, the Hydro.
So now the score was $15 spent, 48 unusable razors, $20 price of music and $23.98 value of coupons. Best of all, the Schick Hydro that I purchased with the coupons offered another 10 free music downloads. How freaking sensible is that?
I rushed home, showered and shaved with no blood misplaced after which planted myself in front of my laptop to pick out my 10 free songs, and that is when my impressive procuring run lastly screeched to a halt.
These weren’t songs from Rhapsody.com. No, these have been from a Schick-affiliated site called, inexplicably, sleighbellsrock.com, and my choices were, basically, some country singer named Blake Shelton, some lady named Charice, or David Archuleta. So, sadly, I will not be using my 10 free downloads.
If any of you ladies have an interest, though, I’ll see if I can switch them to you. You see, we sensible shoppers like to help out these much less lucky.
Want a Schick Slim Twin? Todd Hartley’s giving them away without cost!