Most humans end up being garbed in sheep’s clothing most of the time. For some further examples:
Black Friday, Cyber-Monday, Boxing Day (post-Xmas) – There are sales and sales days; then there are SALES and SALES DAYS. There’s something extra special about those SALES and SALES DAYS that drives your average mild mannered person-in-the-street into a raging maniac. “All’s fair in love and war” should be updated to “all’s fair in love, war and sales shopping”. Strike first, strike hard and strike often. It is pure road rage only in the department store isles. The name of the game is doing unto others before they do it unto you. Let’s just say when shoppers hit the SALES, the sheep turn into rams on steroids! But a sheep by any other name is still a sheep. Baa!
There are serious newspapers and then there are the tabloids. There are serious magazines, and then there are the magazines for the average great unwashed bored out of her ever-loving mind female, usually just plain Jane housewife whose idea of a good time is playing the pokies and whose IQ is struggling to reach triple figures. Porn sites probably contribute more towards human culture than what passes for titillation for the female masses, where any similarity between fact and the written word is purely a matter of coincidence. Yet these ‘true confessions, celebrity scandals, who’s sleeping with who, how I lost 100 pounds in one week’ magazines sell by the millions each week, every year. Readers, you are being fleeced. Baa!
Just taking one example, and examples could be numbered in the thousands, there’s a certain female celebrity, Kim Kardashian, who seemingly gets more coverage, more press stories, more interest accrues to her than the POTUS. For the life of me I can’t figure out why this person is important and why anyone gives a damn, yet millions do. I’m stumped, other than to conclude the obvious. Only mindless sheep would think this person should rate more than one second worth of their time, if that. Baa!
The Royal 2013 Brat
Within literally 24 hours of the announcement that, what’s her name, the Topless Royal, oh yes, Kate, was in a family way, not only did the whole Internet light up and explode like some super Fourth of July fireworks display, but the first Royal Baby 2013 Souvenirs were on the retail shelves, ready to be gobbled up for all those Royal Lovers, oops, Lovers of all things Royal to take into their homes, no doubt to gather dust like all other non-eatable Royal kitsch, oops, knickknacks. What does this tell you about the nature of the human species? What does this tell you about the nature of human priorities? Baa!
Clothing Doesn’t Make the Man – The Suit and Tie
There are just certain occupations where certain items of attire are mandatory, usually for safety reasons, like batting helmets for baseball batters and the mask, chest protector, shin-guards, etc. if you’re a baseball catcher. Ditto shoulder pads and helmets in gridiron football. Hardhats are common sense if you’re a miner or construction worker; ditto bright safety vests if you work outdoors, say road construction, and need to be highly visible. Some professions do require uniforms, as in the military. However, many occupations require certain ‘uniforms’ that actually contribute bugger-all to the ability of that person to perform the job in question. I refer in particular to the civilian white-collar worker, who, if male, is just about required to wear a suit and tie, or at least a jacket and tie. Why? The ability to perform the function you are employed to do has nothing to do with what you wear. Your ability comes from whatever mental and physical abilities you have. Okay, you could perform equally well, in theory, in your birthday suit and in a tuxedo. Eliminating those extremes, you do your best work when you are attired in what is most comfortable. I would suggest that a suit and tie is not that attire; a clean open collar shirt and comfortable pants would suit 99.9% of those otherwise required to wear the suit-and-tie ‘uniform’. Given white-collar workers just meekly dress according to what fashion dictates, instead of wearing that conductive to productivity enhancing comfort, well, all sheep wear wool. Baa!
On the Run
What is it about our society that the sheep have to do everything as if the butcher were after them? I mean they eat on the run; they are not content to let the escalator take them up or down, they have to shove past you, gaining maybe five whole seconds – so where’s the fire? They talk on the run on their mobiles, they text on the run, and while they may have the runs, at least they have to stop and smell the roses when going to the loo. And since they are paying attention to anything and everything except the direction they’re headed in, let’s just be thankful they aren’t behind the wheel of a car! Oops, in fact that’s exactly where all too frequently they are. Diving or otherwise, it’s a sin to waste a moment not doing something, and you should probably feel guilty for sleeping! Baa!
The basic philosophy here is that if it was (or is) good enough for Mom and Dad, then it’s good enough for me – they can do my thinking for me. I mean many offspring usually settle themselves, at least initially, relatively close to where they grew up. Offspring often tend to follow in the same employment-related footsteps as their parents; like father – like son. If your parents were of this particular brand of religious faith, odds are that you will be too. If Mom and Dad drove W, used X, smoked Y, drank Z, chances are you too will be a WXYZ person. If your parents had particular interests, say fans of a particular sports team, well it’s likely you will root for that team too. The same applies to their politics; it’s your politics too. If your parents attended a specific type of educational institution, the odds are you will follow suit. All of the above of course isn’t set in concrete, but more often as not, because of family ties, you’re a sheep. Baa!
Some charity comes knocking on your door for a donation. You get an email request from a bona fide organisation you donated to in the past asking for you to volunteer some of your time for another really worthy cause. You get a phone call seeking support for those who are in need, or for medical research, or some other worthwhile cause. Your near neighbour down the street asks you to buy some of his daughter’s Girl Scout cookies. Your office colleague comes around hat in hand for the office sweeps, or asking for a donation for a gift for some worker who you’ve never met who’s about to retire. The collection plate is passed around at your local church service. Someone is always in your face with their grubby little paw sticking out asking for your money, or time, or both. Meekly, because it’s only $5 or just a couple of hours of your time, you cave in – again and again and again. The sheep can be relied on. They’re a soft touch since hardly anyone wants to be seen or known as a cheapskate. Baa!
Hype, Hype and More Hype
Hands up anyone that’s never experienced being on the receiving end of HYPE! No hands? I thought so. We’ve all experienced over-enthusiasm, especially when and where $$$ are concerned. The prime example is the super-ultra over-the-top month-long (plus) from which I cannot escape hype of all things Christmas. I asked a staffer at a local supermarket why we (staff and customers alike) were being saturated with in-store Xmas music. Well the obvious answer was to get those customers in the proper Xmas spirit and mood, which translated, meant customers spending, spending and spending their money in the staffer’s store (helping of course to keep staffers employed).
The British Royals get the Royal Hype by the press. It’s saturation media coverage for any Royal bit of news at all, including obviously any birth, death, marriage, divorce, or scandal, the sexier the better. Why the intense interest in these dysfunctional idiots is beyond me. I’ve never figured it out and I probably never will.
Sports are another hyped up category, especially the Olympic Games, but all others like the NFL Superbowl, grand finals of any kind, the Red Sox – N.Y. Yankee rivalry, etc. are grist for the hype mill. The more people that tune in, the bigger the target audience for the advertisers.
Then we have all those over-the-top at what seems like 100 decibel levels TV commercials hyping you to be the first on your block; try this new and improved; with a brand new taste; be the envy of your neighbours; never to be repeated; easy terms; it’s better than ever; it won’t last long; ends soon; act now; limited quantities; don’t miss out; and on and on and on it goes.
Then you get the saturation exposure to the premier of the newest must see ‘blockbuster’ film. What new fashion shows aren’t just pure hype and another form of planned obsolescence.
Why? Without all the manufactured hype, the average person just wouldn’t give nearly as much of a damn. And it works too! Baa!
The End of the World on the 21st December 2012
Every time some nutcase makes an end-of-the-world prediction, you can bet the family farm that he or she or they will attract a flock of sheep who believe that specific end-of-days prophecy. Often that ends in tragedy as the flock sell their family farm and possessions; leave behind family and friends, only to have to crawl back on hands and knees looking the absolute fool they were. Sometimes it’s more serious than that – mass suicides have taken place by the true believers. The latest in a very, very long line of case histories has been taken from the Mayan calendar which, much like our going from the 31st of December to the 1st of January, clicks over from one cycle to the beginning of a new cycle. Alas, the deluded, and/or those out to make a fast buck, have convinced many a human sheep that the end of the cycle is in literal fact the end of the world. The upshot, a lot of these end of the world soothsayers made a lot of money selling their tall tales to the great unwashed. They were the winners; the sheep, as usual, got fleeced. The world went on its merry way. As is now obvious to even the densest of morons, the world did not end on the 21st of December 2012, as any sane person tried to tell you before-the-fact. For those who believed regardless, sucker! Baa!
There’s something very sheepish about nearly all humans attributing some special significance to the Earth making one complete orbit of the Sun, or in other words, returning to a specific point* one year later – otherwise known as an annual anniversary. Though it’s of no cosmic significance and purely a human invention and observation, god help you if you miss someone’s birthday or forget your wedding anniversary or fail to show proper respect for local, state, regional or national holidays, like the Fourth of July, or ANZAC Day, Washington’s Birthday or the Queen’s Birthday, VE or VJ Day, etc. Why a human invention? When’s the last time you observed your companion animal(s) or any animal in the wild ‘celebrate’ one of their anniversaries? They could care less – no muss and no fuss. Perhaps we should take a leaf out of their book; follow their example. Not even real sheep celebrate anniversaries! Baa!
*That’s actually incorrect since it’s not the Earth orbiting a stationary Sun, rather the Earth orbiting a rapidly moving Sun that’s moving it it’s own orbit around the central core of the Milky Way Galaxy. When the Earth orbits once around the Sun, it does NOT return to the exact same coordinates in space. And just to further complicate things, the Milky Way Galaxy isn’t standing still either, but moving position with respect to other galaxies, or whatever other points of reference you care to name.
New Year Resolutions
Speaking of cosmically non-significant anniversaries, the annual renewal of the New Year Resolution list comes close to top-of-the-pops. Most people make them; most people break them; year-in-and-year-out. There’s only one New Years resolution anyone need make, and that is to “never make any more New Years Resolutions”. I did that decades ago, and lo and behold, I’ve never broken that commitment. As to the rest of you, Happy New Year (which, truth be known, you’ll probably be wishing good riddance 364 days later). Baa!
Probably the New Years Resolution that’s top-of-the-pops is to lose weight, as fast and as painlessly as possible. To cater for that segment of the human population, nearly every week some new fad diet is put forward and just as predictable a flock of human sheep gobble it up only to move on to the next newest diet fad and the next when each in turn is found wanting and doesn’t provide the painless quick-fix promised.